Group Bonding
by thekeeperofwords
Summary: Jon ordains that his nobles need more 'court bonding', so prepare yourself for a concert of our favorite Tortallans singing popular (meaningful) songs to eachother! Better than it sounds..RR!
1. She's Every Woman

(A/n: ok….my conscience will not rest until I write this. It always plays through my head when I listen to music, any. Has for years….So it's kind of a joke, meant for entertainment. PLEASE actually read the lyrics, they're what all the chappies are about! So, tell me if you like it or not!)

Nealan of Queenscove inspected his fingernails idly. Behind him, some fellow courtiers and knights cleared their throats, shifted positions to find a more comfortable spot, or sighed out of boredom. A tinge of color rose into Alanna's cheeks.

"Anyone know why we're here?" She snapped, getting to her feet. Raoul stood also, blocking her way.

"Jon wanted us here," the big knight reminded his temperamental friend.

Alanna glared at him futilely. "I _know_ that!" She muttered, and returned to her seat.

The door opened, and everyone turned in their seats to welcome the king, for who else could it be? But they were sorely disappointed when more knights and nobles filed in, sending curious looks every which way.

So they waited mostly in silence for another quarter hour. Finally Jon arrived, George on his heels. Both their cheekbones sported red spots of anger.

"I suppose you haven't yet figured out why you're here," Jon said briskly, addressing them all. They nodded slowly. "Well," he cast a glare George's way, "in light of recent events, my advisors have…_advised_ me to bring our knights and nobles closer together. This is the best thing I can think of."

"Sitting in a stuffy room without talking?" Numair supplied. "Yes, I can just _feel_ the love."

"No, Numair, I was thinking more along the lines of a concert, so-to-speak." Jon carried a stool out in front of the crowd.

"Concert?" Dom repeated, shocked. Raoul groaned.

"None of that!" Gary said sharply. "Just watch."

Jon shrugged and took a seat on the stool. Suddenly, the light flowing into the room dimmed, and blue fire illuminated where Jon sat. He cleared his throat.

__

She's sun and rain, she's fire and ice  
A little crazy but it's nice  
And when she gets mad, you best leave her alone  
'Cause she'll rage just like a river   
Then she'll beg you to forgive her   
She's every woman that I've ever known.  
  
She's so Carthak and then Sarain  
And every town along the way   
She's every place that I've never been  
She's making love on rainy nights   
She'll stroll through Scanran fights

And she's everything I want to do again.  
  
It needs no explanation   
'Cause it all makes perfect sense  
For when it comes down to temptation  
She's on both sides of the fence.  
  
No it needs no explanation   
'Cause it all makes perfect sense  
When it comes down to temptation   
She's on both sides of the fence.  
  
She's anything but typical   
She's so unpredictable   
Oh but even at her worst she ain't that bad  
She's as real as real can be   
And she's every fantasy   
Lord she's every lover that I've ever had   
And she's every lover that I've never had

For several moments the room was silent. Jon let our a breath and smiled in relief. Suddenly the room burst into applause. Except, that is, two figures who were watching Jon in chock and amazement. Being, of course, George and Alanna. George started to turn a dangerous shade of puce, and Alanna stared at Jon as if seeing him for the first time.

__

"That about you, Alanna?" Raoul whispered to his friend. Her eyebrows came together in a confused frown.

__

"I have no idea…."

__

"Gods curse you, Jon!" George roared, bursting from his seat. Jon's hand reached automatically for his sword, but he pulled back.

__

"Think you can best me George? Go ahead." He motioned towards the empty stool. "Try."

(A/n: yea, that was "She's Every Woman" by Garth Brooks. Good song! And I think it sums up Alanna so well….Anyway, tell me if you liked it, don't bother telling me if you didn't, and expect many more chapters to come!)__


	2. My Alanna

(A/n: ok! Chapter two! And someone asked if there was going to be a plot….You'll have to wait and see! But no, a bunch of angry Scanrans are NOT going to come storming in….)

George scowled at the king, we was so openly mocking him. With an impatient snap of his fingers, Marek and Ercole emerged from the shadows and stepped dutifully to his side. Servants hastily placed two more stools on the makeshift stage. Jon smiled bemusedly.

Alanna squirmed in her seat. Everyone else watched with baited breath, somewhat apprehensive. Only Jon and Alanna's closest friends knew about the silent feud between George and Jon that had taken place years ago. Now, from all the signs, it was starting up again.

"Alright, lass," George said firmly, eying Alanna. "I'll beat him with this one. Wrote it when you returned to me at House Azik." He cleared his throat and signaled to his fellow rogues.

__

My Alanna, don't you know I've come a long, long way  
I been longing' to see her  
When she's around she takes my blues away  
Sweet Alanna the blazing glory surely hurts my eyes  
I'm a lonely dreamer on a highway in the skies  
My Alanna, Alanna I love you  
My Alanna, there were some blue and sorrow times  
Just my thoughts about you bring back my piece of mind  
Noble lady, you're a miracle work for me  
You set my soul free like a ship sailing on the sea  
She is the sunlight when skies are gray  
She treats me so right lady take me away  
My Alanna  
Alanna I love you  
My Alanna  
Alanna I love you  
My Alanna  
Alanna I love you

The room once again burst into applause. Raoul, Gary, and Douglass looked warily at Jon, who shrugged. Alanna's cheeks burned.

"Well, Alanna, I've said my piece," George said, not quite able to hide the despairing note in his voice. "But if we're back to where we were when you were 17, I guess your mentality is, too." Immediately he cringed, and the _I-can't-believe-I-said-that-out-loud_ look stole over his face.

"Foul!" Raoul yelled, then rubbed his chin in thought. "Gods, I seem to say that a lot…"

Alanna's face was set stoically, and she called Thayet and Buri over to her (the former was still red in the face and humiliated by Jon's song). They spoke in hushed tones for several minutes before moving the stools out of the way and standing poised in front of the dark room. Everyone was silent.

"Ready, girls?" Thayet asked.

"This one's for you, boys," Buri said loudly.

Their song started.

(Prepare for embarrassed Raoul, George, and Jon!!!)


	3. You Don't Own Me

Jon watched with a mixture of horror and amazement a three of Tortall's most revered females paced the stage like sly tigers. _Or Lionesses_, he mused. Suddenly their heads snapped towards Raoul, George, and him as Thayet opened her mouth. Alanna and Buri's eyes were like daggers.

__

"You don't own me,  
I'm not just one of your many toys.  
You don't own me,  
don't say I can't go with other boys."

__

Raoul shifter uncomfortably. He wasn't the only one. Women in the room were sending their husbands and lovers significant looks. Jon stared at the singing women glumly. _Why, oh _why,_ are they waving their feminist banner here?_

Now all three women sang in harmony. George semiconsciously wondered how they had it all practiced and choreographed._  
  
"And don't tell me what to do.  
And don't tell me what to say.  
And please, when I go out with you,  
don't put me on display!_

Cause, you don't own me.  
Don't try to change me in any way.  
You don't own me,  
don't tie me down,  
cause I'd never stay."

Presently Alanna stepped forward and stared at both Jon and George. But mostly at Jon. She sang confidently,_  
  
"I don't tell you what to say.  
I don't tell you what to do.  
So just let me be myself,  
that's all I ask of you!"_

Now all attention turned to Buri as she took her own solo.

_  
  
"I'm young,  
and I love to be young.  
I'm free,  
and I love to be free.  
To live my life the way that I want,  
To say and do whatever I please."_

Once again, they all sang together. Raoul, Jon, and George's faces were bright red and they slid down as low in their chairs as permitted.

"You don't own me,  
I'm not just one of your many toys.  
You don't own me,  
don't say I can't go with other boys."

The song ended, and all the women stood in an impressive ovation, their clapping and cheering so contradictory to their upbringings. Jon, his face a magnificent shade of claret, stood and cleared his throat.

"Thank you much, Alanna, Thayet, Buri," he said hoarsely. They grinned in victory, Thayet most of all. She clearly thought that she had one up on the King. He, however had other plans. "Raoul? George? I take you to witness." The music started. "Thayet, see all the guys would think she's mighty fine, but mighty fine only gets you somewhere half the time and the other half only gets you cursed out or coming up short."

(A/n: Ok! So that was You Don't Own Me from the First Wives Club. And…a little hint of what is next! Don't worry, I have so many songs, there might be 50 chapters! So I'll just try to find a way to tie them all together…)


End file.
